7 SIGNS HE IS CLINGY



 I got a distress Email from a fan. To cut her long story short, her super sweet relationship was becoming burdensome and uncomfortable.  

Hopefully this very interesting analysis from a relationship expert on signs that your man is clingy will help...

1. He loses his cool anytime you miss a phone call
Okay, I believe anyone in a relationship would be a tad annoyed when their partner blatantly ignores their calls. It is very disrespectful and inconsiderate. However, if you find yourself in full blown screaming matches with your guy anytime you miss a phone call or you find yourself answering a barrage of questions such as “What were you doing?”, “Who were you with?”, “What was so important that you couldn’t answer the phone?” chances are you guy is on the clingy side.

2. He doesn’t like when you go out
Separate friends and healthy amounts of time apart are good for any relationship. If you find that your guy is always sitting in the corner with the sour face, starts a fight, or gets a ridiculous attitude anytime you are getting ready to spend sometime with the girls or maybe even your family, chances are you’ve got a clinger on your hands. When you know for a fact that you make time for him and he is always acting as if you neglect him, it can be very frustrating.

3. He doesn’t have his own life
“If I’m not your everything, how about I be nothing”. Sigh, a quote from a  Beyonce song hat has been ruining relationships since 2006. This is not a quote to be taken literally. Yes, your partner should be a very important aspect of your life,; however, it is unhealthy for them to be your entire life. It sets unrealistic expectations for your partner and places way to much pressure on you. If your guy has no other interests except going to work and being with you 24/7 that’s a problem.

4. He’s always doing pop ups and drive-bys

LOL, if you find that your guy is constantly popping up at your job or your home unannounced talking about “I was just in the neighborhood and I figured we’d do lunch” or you’re constantly wondering whether your mind is playing tricks on you or if you really just saw his car speed pass your BFF’s house, you’ve got a clinger on your hands. He was not just “in the neighborhood”, he’s checking your story to make sure you are where you said you’d be. The occasional surprise is romantic, anything else is called stalking.

5. He’s always asking if you love him
Love is most sincere when it’s given, not demanded. When you know for a fact that you shower you guy with plenty of love and affection, but he’s constantly asking if you love him, something is wrong. He’s insecure and is looking to be reassured of your feelings for him. It might be cute at first, but it gets old and annoying quickly.

6. He makes plans with you just to ensure you aren’t with anyone else
Do you constantly find yourself bored to tears when you’re at your man’s house or wondering why he even invited you over because he’s paying attention to any and everything but you? The truth is he didn’t really want to spend time with you; he just wants you over because it gives him the comfort of knowing that you aren’t with anyone else.

7.He’s constantly stressing at the thought of you cheating or leaving
It is normal for one to fear the loss of their partner; however, this fear becoming an obsession is indicative that there are deeper problems. An unreasonable fear of being cheated on or abandoned is usually the root of all other clingy behaviors.

Clinginess is most cases is a behavior that comes as a result of insecurity. The problem with people that struggle with insecurity is that the insecure person usually does not even want to feel that way. It is uncomfortable for both parties involved. Insecurity is an issue that needs to be worked out within, but can’t be fixed until the actual root of these feelings are uncovered. It takes a strong individual to be with an insecure partner but it is possible. Communication is key. Talk to your partner and find out why they may have these feelings. You never know, you may just be able to help them overcome.

Comments

  1. Truth! Buh.......love dem clingy somtymz

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is interesting! Love brings freedom, peace and joy to the heart. But mere infatuation and lust tie up knot in the heart and breeds tension!

    How to avoid getting hooked up in such relationships?
    1. Be true to God and to yourself
    2. Don't allow a friend who is not committed to you in marriage take you as his/her responsibility.

    Nk guess you have a degree in relationship! Thanks for sharing

    ReplyDelete
  3. Lol! Juddy, said it all Nikky you have a masters degree in Relationship :) Anyway, we need to find out everything because ladies of nowadays do not behave like our mothers of years back. They should remember that women are not heard but seen ;) Will they listen, for were! See them coming to attack me :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Well said Nikky. My husband is so in secured. He has all the qualities you listed here. Only God will help me in this marriage.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Nikky, they are clingy and stingy. They jealous and envious and ready to kill their wives because of their in security.

    I have asked most of them to read Corinthians chapter 13 and learn from that bible passage. Couples should learn to trust and love each other, so that God will bless their marriages.

    ReplyDelete
  6. @Abiola

    I have one word for you. Go visit a doctor!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hmmmmm! Well, she doesn't have a degree in relationships rather she is accumulating ideas on how to maintain or start a new relationship. That's by the way. This topic is quite controversial and worth deliberating on as adults but i've notices some people lashing out tongues on each other already. Let us be adults.

    Truth is that people of today don't practice love. Period. It doesn't just exist. He/She will somehow in one occasion or the other drive that idea into you that he/she is messing around.

    I thought, as couples who have proclaimed so much love for each other, will never hide anything, keep secretes or conceal events. Exhibitions of such attracts clingyness.

    Why miss his/her calls without returning them, why avoid certain questions, why conceal where you are when asked, why refer to him/her as a relative (when obviously he/she is not) etc.

    With personal and environmental experiences so far in this world of ours today, clingyness will definitely take place the moment these trait are found in someone. My opinion is, why be clingy? If it is a norm that your calls will be missed, secretes kept away from you, identities of his/her friends concealed from you, then why not move on rather than sticking to clingyness?

    Your man/woman will never put you to jealousy...mark my work, rather, make you proud. "The blessing of the Lord, it maketh rich, and he addeth no sorrow with it" (Proverb 10:22). If he/she is making you so uncomfortable that you have to stalk him/her, please, let go - its obviously not worth it and not yours.

    As Abiola said, ladies of the present do not behave like mothers of the past. True but there are a lot out there with the traits of our mothers of yesterday.

    Irrespective of all odds, be nice to everyone, render advice and encourage your close neighbor/friend to inculcate natural affections.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. IheanyI Amazue must be a Pastor.
      Nice one dude.

      Nikky the 7 signs plus 1 reminds me of my gal. her 8th sign is "she wants to burn my car" . Last time she was at my place, I nearly beat her up.

      Thing is these signs also apply to ladies not just guys. my advice is, if they are Clingy, kick em out

      Delete
    2. Well said bro, that captures it all!

      Delete
  8. A CLINGY GF = A NAGGING WIFE =SHE WILL CUT UR BALLS OFF ONE DAY AND U WONT LIVE TO TELL D STORY!!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Men of present are worse than their fathers.

    The topic is - 7 signs HE is clingy why make this a female issue? If u lacj what to say just read and pass. 99% of the crimes in the world are being committed by men.

    Juddy is very correct.
    Abiola respect ya sekf for here.
    Mr anonymous next time use ur name bcis many husbands have slaughtered their wives cos if jealousy.
    It all starts with naive gals depending on frustrated men, then cliginess to obsession to murder.
    Doesn't mean we should not care about d one we love but he/she should allow you have a life...I don talk ma own

    ReplyDelete
  10. @ Abiola & Iheanyi

    How can mothers of today behave like the olden days mother? Please, oh! We are in 21st century not 1709 :)

    By the way, are the men behaving like the men of those days? My father took care of my mother and his children. He struggled to provide money and security for my family unlike today's lazy men. Most of them will wait for their wives and girlfriends to bring money, go to the market, prepare food, serve it, take care of children, take them to school, wake up early bath kids, wash cloth, clean house and even take care of the so called men.

    My question is what do most men do at their homes? They are watching tv and reading newspaper. Horrible world!

    Please, appreciate the women in your lives and stop looking for who to blame for their irresponsibility.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Helen, I contructively and repeatedly used the pronoun "he/she" pointing to the fact that it cuts across all genders. I still don't see reasons why one should sound harsh in his/her response to discussions of this sort in such platforms. This is not a war zone or grounds for competition. You think you know it all? Then earth is not for your kind.

    ReplyDelete
  12. i agree with Helen. way to go girl!!! Lazy Naija men. they wont do anything all day and at night they go want make you respond to them.

    ReplyDelete

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