SOUL TIES

Culled from Breaking Soul Ties by Olusola Adio. Please do not stop until you get to the end...

1. I want to state that we are not here to condemn anyone or stigmatize anyone who has repeatedly fallen into sin due to #SoulTies

2. We are here to expose #SoulTies as the works of the enemy that the blood of Jesus has been shed to purge us from.

3. We are also not here to provide excuses and reasons for Christians to continue in sin due to a misunderstanding of grace. #SoulTies

4. The Bible states clearly in Romans 6:23 that “the wages of sin is death” #SoulTies is no excuse for us to continue in sin.

5. We are here to work out our salvation (that Jesus already paid with His blood) from #SoulTies according to God’s word.

6. We start with the scriptures as is our usual practice by reading from Eph 2:3. #SoulTies

7.Ephesians2:3 Among whom also we all had our conversation in times past in the lusts of our flesh. Conversation there means our behavioral patterns and habits. The scripture is saying there that we sharpened these skills with other children of disobedience when we were out there in the world or in Egypt aka when we were unbelievers. 

Most #SoulTies we practice today were developed & fine-tuned in our friendship circles. Hardly does satan come with new stuff to trip you but he uses the same old stuff over and over again to trip you. 

8. Now that you are saved and you have your ticket punched for heaven, satan’s only access to you is through your #SoulTies.

9.  #SoulTies simply being habits he got you involved in the days of your flesh. Today, we are zeroing in on wrong sexual habits specifically in the lives of men. They operate slightly differently with women so our guns today are trained on the men. 

10. I think I’ve mentioned before that most men process love through their sex organs and women process love through their hearts. It explains why David the king saw another man’s wife from afar & his interpretation of love towards her was sleeping with her. To sleep with her, David went as far as killing her husband. His sexual appetite was that strong to commit manslaughter. #SoulTies

11. Many men who are married today are still carrying on his torch and we want to do some trace through to see what’s going on. #SoulTies. Boys that form sexual habits as they grow up without any godly restraint begin to move across various girls in relationships. As this happens, the key excitement in sexual activity for boys is the release and physical gratification they get from it. #SoulTies

12. So fast forward to when they now want to marry either as saved or unsaved men, they have had a variety of memorable times. Sisters in church are then naive to think that if he is in church, then he must be free from such memories. Bear in mind that these activities were practised together with their friends who are now split across the church and the world. #SoulTies

13. Naively, sisters underestimate the power of old relationships over the men they are now dating or marrying. #SoulTies

14. Let’s paint a mock scenario here. Taju has been through having sex with about 35 women before he gets saved and join d church. No one taught him how to renew his mind with God’s Word and all he knew was to come along to church and serve tables. He still has a plethora of friends continuing with such girls. Now he meets this sister in church, Tanya, who loves The Lord. Tanya is a virgin and has never had a boyfriend until she met Taju. Taju didn’t disclose all these while they were dating. #SoulTies

15. Let’s throw in a Nigerian spin to this mock scenario. Taju’s family is delighted to hear Tanya is a virgin. Taju’s family is pleased with his catch being aware that he was once a player. They like that he’s marrying a ‘clean’ woman. I have read a tweet where a dude said he would blow the whistle if his friend was to marry a lady who has aborted before. So the pressure is on the woman who wants to marry to stay ‘clean’ while it’s ok for d man to swim around town as he pleases. #SoulTies

16. Now Taju & Tanya are married. 6 months later, Taju is out there reaching out to one or two old girlfriends on Facebook.

17. Facebook is almost a curse when it comes to #SoulTies. Experts advise you refrain from contacting old flames on Facebook. Researchers reckon that 62% of those who got in touch with an old flame eventually got in bed with them. Researchers suggest that if you are not single, widowed or divorced, u should refrain from contacting old flames on Facebook. #SoulTies

18. Back to Taju, why does he start contacting old flames on Facebook? He has had 6 months of staying with one woman! 6 months is the longest he has ever stayed copulating with the same woman, which is his wife. Others never lasted half as long. He gets bored. His #SoulTies are still active underneath, he remembers the assorted times from more experienced girlfriends. It’s not enough for the woman to be right, we also need to ensure that the man is rid of #SoulTies for the marriage to work & survive.

19. Taju is back with 2 of his old flames secretly to reproduce his past assorted sexual experiences with them. #SoulTies

20. It matters where the guy has been before you met him else these things will pop to the surface months after you are married. #SoulTies

21. Sex is the most addictive soul tie in the world today. It’s far more addictive than drugs. More money is spent on porn now than on drugs. #SoulTies. The first ever online transaction was to pay for a porn download. A man who has not been purged of the sexual #SoulTies with the Word of God only needs an enabling situation to break his vows. #SoulTies

22. Let me tell you this real life story to drive home my point. Many years ago in Nigeria, I needed a lift from work. I worked with KPMG then. I got lumbered with 4 married guys in the car. I knew all of them but we were never close. I knew one of them to be a Christian who attended a monthly revival meeting of a large Nigerian denomination. Others weren’t. #SoulTies

23. One unwritten code we have as men is that we don’t snitch. So these guys had no problem starting this conversation in the car. One of them had just been married recently and a conversation started when his mates asked when he was coming out to ‘town’. He told them that he was coming out to ‘town’ soon. Then his mates started marketing their escapades outside marriage to him. 

24. The Christian guy was one of the marketers. This conversation had gone on for like 15mins and I became very curious. I definitely had to join this conversation as we had at least one more hour of travel. I too had just been married. So I decided to pop this question when there was a pause in the conversation. 

25. “Guys, if you are now married to a wife, why don’t you do all these crazy stuff with her alone and be free of guilt and STD?” You will find their answers ridiculous but an ignorance of these answers for a naive sister can sink your marriage dreams. 

26. Answer 1-> one of them said “we do rough sex only with outside girls, wives are to treated with respect, not roughly”. 

27. Let’s break answer down over a few tweets. 1st, there is suggestion of a dual life of decent sex at home & rough sex outside. None of them disclosed their dual operations to their wives but implicitly assumed that their wives shouldn’t be a part of it. A book called ‘Why men love bitches’ sold well because men led by their organs really love bitches but marry sane women. 

28. 2nd analysis was that girls out there who hang out with married men are only being used as tools of sexual gratification. If you are a girl doing a married man, this is what he thinks of you. You are only good enough for rough sex. No more. 

29. 3rd analysis was that one wife was unable to provide these colorful experiences provided by a wide range of women out there. From that one answer, there was absolutely no way their wives could compete on that turf with the outside girls. #SoulTies

30. There is something about a man married to a woman that is untouched by no-one else so they will pretend in church to get you. #SoulTies

31. Let me go slightly more explicit here. Over the last few years, some new bedroom styles have been floating around. Honestly, these can be very uncomfortable for those who were never sexually active before marriage. A challenge here. This provides the wrong inner justification for these men with unbridled appetites to carry on with their atrocities. 

32. Addiction to assorted past sexual experiences is number one reason why men cheat. A challenge is that these are never disclosed to the unsuspecting sister being pressured by her parents to marry in a hurry. 

33. How do we deal with that answer for intending couples? 

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