GOPD Wahala

Its no secret that I detest hospitals and general hospitals are usually a nightmare.

So it happened that I had to go to a general hospital, don't ask me why but with my recent experience I have come to realize that the general hospital is not such a terrible place. Well, especially when nobody is dying. At this point I must commend the young doctors who work at general hospitals particularly the pretty young ladies I met. You are all amazing.

The crowd of patients waiting to see the doctors left us speechless and in shock initially. Anyways, we grudgingly got numbers and joined the queue which was being manned by a very professional young hospital guard. Nobody could cut corners or do the usual IM (man know man) with him around. He was the only guard on duty at that section and was also doubling as a GOPD nurse because some of the nurses were obviously not on seat (God bless that young man). If not for him we would have spent all day at the hospital.  I didn't know sick people could also be happy. Some young ladies who were also waiting to see a doctor kept us reeling with laughter with their incessant and ready jokes.

The drama started mid morning when a middle-aged woman with a limp, walked into the large waiting area dragging along a bag. We thought she was trying to play a fast one so all eyes turned towards her. She approached some patients, greeted them sweetly and the next thing we heard was;

"Buy your Argbo here! Argbo for your malaria, Typhoid fever, running stomach, body heat, arthritis...One tablespoon a day and your body go well again! Original Argbo here!!"

Her voice rang out so clearly that everyone fell silent. Selling local herbs inside a hospital to people waiting to see a doctor!? See boldness oh! I was dumbfounded.

The patients quickly recovered from the shock of her boldness and screamed for the nurses. The commotion attracted the attention of a nurse who sprang up and beckoned on the young guard. The guard yelled out;

"Madam wetin you de do for there?" (Madam what are you doing over there?)

The woman took a step backwards, the patients tried to stop her but she wriggled free, clutched her bag to her chest and dashed out of the open doors. Her speed would shame Bolt lol!

Screams of "Catch her" filled the air as the woman who was initially faking a limp fled for her life. The young guard ran in hot pursuit and all the patients nearly fainted from laughter as the other guards who joined in the chase tripped over each other as the woman dodged and ducked...