Abuja Big Boy...

We watched the ball soar past the goal keeper and through the mock post. Maggie screamed out with disgust and covered her face as Tunde kicked dust into the air in exasperation. I laughed at his display. That was the first time I met Maggie’s “Abuja big boy”.

“He is the worst goalkeeper in the world;”Maggie lamented as the blue team hugged happily.

“I wish I can go home and get out of my suit. Coming to stand by the sidelines to encourage Tunde every Friday after work is becoming a nerve racking ritual. The man is a pain in all the wrong and right places.”

I stared at my friend and could not believe my ears.

“Maggie you hate the guy, so quietly get out of his life.”

“Haba Nikky, this guy is rich and he is going to buy me a house in this town oh.  Just that he invested all his money and his cargo is yet to arrive. His dad, an Ambassador, will help him out with some cash while we wait for his goods to arrive. I am sitting tight my dear. No girl will come and chop where I don farm finish. Patience is a virtue and I have plenty to spare.”  Read on...
Just then Tunde threw his hands up and headed towards us. The thin crowd booed and he waved with a smile. His plump body glistened with sweat.

“I’m coming with a towel next week.” she said with displeasure.

“A towel, I don’t understand.”

“Do you know the effect his sweat has on my expensive suits? He sweats buckets, sucks at the sport, his flabby body is begging for a proper routine and I detest coming out here every Friday evening for these damn trainings! Here he comes. Don’t say a word dear.” She whispered.

The hatred was tangible. As I watched her put on her dark shades and smile sweetly at the approaching man, I decided to shut up and enjoy the drama;

“There’s my angel!” He strolled over and enfolded her in his sweaty body. Maggie squirmed and I gasped at the odor.

Does the guy need his dad to come and buy him a deodorant? I asked myself and took a step away from them.

“Do you need to get back to the office again? I missed you.” He kissed her on the lips and the guys near us snickered and jeered. She hurriedly pulled back;

“I missed you more baby.” She giggled.

 “You were late. You nearly missed the game.”

“I was held up by traffic. You know how this town is on Fridays. Besides I saw your last dive. What was the score again?”

“Are you mocking me?”

“Mock you? Baby, No! Even Casillas would miss that ball.” She smiled sweetly at him.

Unbelievable, I thought. Maggie should be in the movies. Since she did not bother to introduce me, I kept my distance.

Tunde smiled and hugged her again;

“That’s my angel. Did you get my drink and the money?”

“It’s in my car; the drink is just the way you love it. Just that if we don’t hurry, I won’t be able to get back to ...”

“Your work, I know! You never relax whenever we are sharing quality time together. How are we supposed to groom this relationship? When you neglect me like this, I look at other women.” He stormed off towards the car park.

“I’m sorry baby.” Maggie increased her steps to catch up with him. “You know I love you more than my job.”

“I know. That’s why I have not told you to quit that job. Your boss is a tyrant. Does he even have a wife?”

By then I was tired and bored. The pretense was getting on my nerves. How could people live like that?

I m sure you are wondering what this story is all about. Well, I grew up with Maggie, so when she moved into Abuja, she moved in with me. She had this obsession for very rich and single men. Her mission was to hunt down and get hooked to one of the big boys in town before the end of that year. Her stars shone when she got introduced to an "Abuja big boy” and before long, they became an item. One week into the relationship, the man, Tunde, was spending so much on her that we thought he had a money making machine at his home. Everything was perfect and going as planned.

After one month, Tunde stopped dropping cash. He complained of bad business and started borrowing from my girl. Maggie did not mind initially but before long, the relationship became a nightmare. She was fed up and ready to bail, but Tunde would not let go. He knew how to get Maggie to pay. He told her things would get better, that his wealthy dad would soon come back from his trip to Canada to fix things for him. Maggie was torn. She wanted to leave but didn’t want to hear that Tunde bounced back after she had gone.

Three months into the relationship, Maggie rented a flat with her money,moved out of my home and Tunde moved in with her. That was never the plan but Tunde had come to stay. After six months of waiting for his goods and dad to arrive, Maggie eventually got tired and got the nerve to kick Tunde out of her house.

It was almost a year later that we found out that Tunde was not his real name; the story of the cargo and the rich dad in Canada was just a story he had told many naïve ladies. In fact the guy was jobless, penniless and had been duping many girls. My girl was among the lucky ones. Tunde disappeared, Maggie moved on with her life and I heard she is still on the prowl for a rich and single Abuja big boy.