The Abuja tale 2

Nnenna was beyond surprised. Kamal was a total gentleman and from all indications, a kind husband. She loved her friend dearly but, somehow, she found it difficult to believe her words.

"Aisha. You know Kamal loves you. That man is ready to lay his life down for you. Did—did you catch him with someone else?

"No. That’s the problem. It's either he's too good at covering his tracks or I'm just going insane! I feel so silly, Nnenna,” Aisha sighed, twisting her wedding band. 

“Nnenna, he's slowly but surely slipping away from me. Kamal doesn't even talk to me anymore. We can go a whole day without saying a word to eachother. I just feel this deep sadness and...the worst part is, I don’t know how to fix this. I feel like I’m failing as a wife.”

Nnenna looked at her friend and sighed deeply. The silence in Aisha's marriage was loud, and Nnenna knew the source of some of the noise: Kamal was facing intense career setbacks—a private struggle he had only confided to Chinedu. She was surprised and concerned that Kamal hadn't shared this burden with Aisha.

Compounding their quiet crisis was the immense pressure Aisha was under from Kamal's family, who were constantly demanding for children. Thanks to her experience with Chinedu, she perfectly understood the dynamics of both their visible and hidden struggles. But, as much as she loved Aisha, Nnenna felt Kamal’s story was not hers to tell. 

Gathering her heartbroken friend in her arms, Nnenna allowed Aisha to cry freely until her sadness was spent. When Aisha finally pulled back, Nnenna looked at her with an unexpected vulnerability, ready to share a piece of her own, seemingly perfect, marital history.

“Aisha, silence doesn't mean he is cheating. You know, three years into our marriage, Chinedu and I had a rough time trying to get his startup funded. It almost broke us. We cried, we argued, almost all the time and yes, we felt sad. Those months were tough and I was not just frustrated. I was deeply sad about the future...I didn't even know if we had any future together.”

Aisha was stunned. “But you guys always seem so—so sure and always happy.”

Nnenna smiled softly. “We learned something from those years, my dear. We learned that sadness isn't the enemy. It's okay to be sad about unattained expectations. It's okay to have regrets and setbacks. The danger begins when you start allowing that sadness to breed silence, distance and anger between you two. We decided it was a NO and fought for our marriage.”

Taking Aisha's shaking hands in hers, Nnenna continued;

"Sadness is not a sign of a failing marriage, but an opportunity for you to talk more, face the challenges as a team and double your intimacy. Babe, drown that man with love...if you ask me, he looks like he's starving."

They both laughed out loud as Aisha swatted her with a pillow.

That evening, after Kamal returned, Aisha didn't rush to make dinner or clean up. She walked over to the door of his home office which also served as his study, and gently knocked.

“Kamal,” she said peeking in, “can we talk?" Her voice was soft but firm.

Kamal shifted uncomfortably but nodded at her. She slowly stepped in and went over to sit on his lap. Kamal eyes shone with surprise at her gesture.

 "I feel sad lately and if I'm being sincere, I see sadness in you too.” Aisha's voice was thick with her emotions.

Kamal’s shoulders slumped. He looked up to meet Aisha's eyes and slowly pushed away his laptop. 

“I’m sorry baby. It’s just that I feel like—like I’m letting us down. The rejection from that huge Central Bank project broke me. Especially because it became impossible to fulfill my promises to you. I just didn’t want to burden you with my failures.”

Aisha's warm hands framed his face as his worried but steady gaze met hers.

“Kamal, you are my husband and you are not a burden. That loss also broke me. But, losing the contract should not be the end of our lives. You tried all you could and I do not blame you. We shouldn't allow these pressures plant a wedge between us." Aisha urged almost in tears.

"My love," she continued slowly, "when you’re sad, you pull away, then I feel abandoned and start getting these crazy ideas from not knowing what's going on with you...” she faltered but suddenly remembering Nnenna’s words, she looked into his eyes and smiled tenderly; 

“We can be sad, Kamal. But we need to be sad together in order to win whatever life throws at us.”

Kamal broke down in Aisha's arms. He leaned into her and allowed himself to be vulnerable. Aisha simply held him as tears ran down her face. That night, they made a new commitment, kamal promised not to hide his struggles from his wife and Aisha committed not to try to fix his sadness.

They didn't solve his career crisis nor did they magically become happy. Instead, they accepted to face the realities of life's joys and sorrows together without judgment and with less silence. 

And yeah, the following months were filled with the sounds of their constant laughter and intense intimacy which did not only strengthen their bond but secured the foundation of their newly committed union.

The End